Archive for February, 2009

Exploring A New E-Book @ Tapestry

February 27, 2009

Tapestry Books sent out an announcement that they have an e-book, “A Birth Mother Perspective on Open Adoption” available on its website.   Actually, it is a Two-in-one of first person accounts by birth mothers Patricia Dischler and Melissa Nilsen.  It’s good to for an adoption-focused site to give space to birth mothers, the often silent side of adoption. For a limited time, this is downloadable for free. Take advantage of the offer and connect to these two articulate women and their personal stories.   Included are links to each author’s blogs.  Take a look.

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Best Seat in the House

February 20, 2009

So, I’m sitting next to Rachel One as we watch Rachel Two on the stage. Cheryl and Tony are behind us, proud parents taking pictures of their Star on the Stage.

From the corner of my eye I see Rachel One silently mouthing the words to all the songs, and it’s then that I recall that she was in this same musical as a high school student. Now her daughter is in the same play. The serendipity is not lost on any of us.

As their social worker, I was a part of the placement of Rachel Two 15 years ago when she joined the family of Cheryl and Tony as a newborn. In the years before they opened their adoption and began arranging their own meetings, I was the conduit for gifts and photos. Since then Rachel One has shared her pictures and so I’ve seen Rachel Two nurtured by Cheryl and Tony, as she developed those singing genes gifted by Rachel One and her extended family.

The house lights come up; I hurry to wipe away tears of pride. I turn to see the glistening eyes of THREE proud parents — birth mother, adoptive mother and adoptive father. I am honored to be here.

Review: “Odyssey of an Unknown Father” by David Archuletta

February 4, 2009

Don’t be taken in by the tease on the back cover: “This book will teach you [prospective adoptive parent] what to look for to spot fraud or unethical maneuvers in the adoption process and to avoid this terrible scenario when you welcome a child into your home.” Sadly, it doesn’t follow through on that promise.
What it is: This is David Archuletta’s personal story as an alleged father whose former partner committed perjury by signing an Unknown Father Affidavit [in New Jersey] in spite of his having been somewhat involved in the pregnancy until she left her Colorado home to do an adoption — but the reader has to make it through a third of the book to learn that. Convoluted sentences, mis-matched syntax, sarcastic comments that don’t relate to the material — it’s difficult to find the meat.
Mr. Archuletta has two important messages to deliver: don’t assume that adoption is the best solution to every unwed pregnancy, and the baby’s father has important information to share, including (in his case) potentially dire medical history. Mr. Archuletta should not have been left out of this important decision for his child. Whether his involvement might have meant a different outcome or not, his rights were discounted.
Mr. Archuletta’s story should be a reminder to adoption agency workers and adoption attorneys why a best services practitioner should refuse to do an adoption when a pregnant client refuses to identify the father. To do less is to risk loss of licensure.
HOWEVER, this is one of those books that takes one situation and generalizes it to all adoptions. It well may be that Mr. Archuletta’s real intent was to scare prospective adoptive couples away from adoption all together. If that’s the goal, he may have succeeded, but not in the way he planned.
You know that saying in legal circles that “The person who serves as his own attorney has a fool for a client”? Well, meet the book publishing version: “The self-publishing author who acts as his own editor shows himself as a fool.” By the tedious end of this book, the author comes off as a wigged-out psychopath on a rant against his own personal injustice. Where I once had a modicum of sympathy for his cause, he’s done his cause a disservice by going on and on and on and on. David, get an editor!
Beth Kozan, Phoenix